Author Archives: admin

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Victoria Memorial…

There’s a lady being fucked from behind. The lady is white and the cock is big and black. She’s made up with those Amy-Winehouse style cat eyes that everybody seems to like these days, and her silicone tits are huge, defying gravity. The man with the penis is hardly visible. Really, he’s just a cock. This [...]
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And then I landed

09/12/09 Kolkata   If you’ve ever watched The Jungle Book, you might be able to form yourself up a fairly good image of my first view of Kolkata. The ground emerged from beneath misty aeroplane haze. I saw luscious, jungly clusters of palm trees and odd, irregular-shaped houses. Deep jewels glistened and shimmered in the ground, eventually revealing [...]
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Taste of India

This Tuesday, I’ll be jumping on a plane and flying out to Kolkata, India. Why? Because Child In Need Institute (CINI) have asked me to write an article on the work they do to support malnourished families. I’ll be finding out what it’s like to be a mother in a country where a child dies [...]
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TEDx London

I woke up early on Thursday morning, stinking of whisky and ideas. On Wednesday night The Hub hosted their very first (hopefully of many) TEDx London event, where a series of fascinating speakers came to share their ideas with the world. And it wasn’t just the speakers who had something to say. In advance, the [...]
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Dear Simon Armitage,

I really enjoyed reading your collection ‘The Not Dead.’ Well, I didn’t enjoy it exactly. It hurt to read it. It hurt in the way that all beautiful things should hurt, like when you walk into a Catholic church and there’s Christ, hanging from the cross in all his majestic pain and glory with the [...]
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Feliks Topolski’s Brand New Chronicle

Bohemian Squalor meets Upper-Class niceties – the essence of Feliks for only 30p Yes it’s here. The first of Feliks Topolski’s Brand New Chronicle comes to you on a shabby little chipshop printout, together with a fullscale poster of a Topolski Original. Full to the brim of fascinating observations – sketches, poetry, illicit letters and a fascinating editorial [...]
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Bernard Matthews Stole my Faith in Humanity

I want to believe the Holocaust deniers I want to know that no man, no matter how angry Or proud of his nation Could lock the door on a chamber full of humans, Then come back later To stack up the bodies like meat. But then I remember how we treat our meat How living creatures sit Raw-bellied, swollen, stacked On shelves, the smell [...]
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Time to Chill, We’ve Got a Big Bang Already…

Last night was one of those evenings that you spend so much time working towards that by the time it actually gets there you’re not entirely sure what hit you. In a good way. Recently we’ve been thinking up new ways to promote Feliks Topolski’s amazing memoir, so as well as the launch of our [...]
Posted in Poetry, Topolski | 2 Comments

If KITT was a snail…

“Check out my Molluscular Bondage Shell!”
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Too Pretty for Wheels

I hate wheelchairs. I hate how they look. I hate how people make an extra effort to catch your eye and smile at you when you’re in one but don’t actually know how to hold a conversation with you anymore. I hate how everyone’s afraid to mention it but you can tell it’s on their [...]
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